Flank Steak, Potatoes, and a Very Special Occassion

What is the special occassion, you ask?  Our second anniversary?  A promotion?  Another life-altering moment?  Nope.  This dinner was particularly special because we ate it at the dining room table instead of in the living room, hunched over the coffee table with the TV on, shoveling the food in as fast as humanly possible.


Its shameful, I know.  Often times, I will spend hours preparing, cooking, and photographing our dinner and then we'll eat it in 7 minutes while watching something really meaningful like the Bachelor or Tosh.0.  And really, the reason we don't eat at the dining room table is, well, because I don't want to mess it up.  I keep it set all the time with our wedding china, pretty placemats and various centerpieces.  I do this because if it wasn't set all the time, my husband people would put their crap on my nice table and my dining room would be so full of random stuff and we wouldn't be able to eat there and would be forced to eat in the living room, hunched over the coffee table.  Logic fail, I know.


Anyway, on this particular evening my husband insisted that we eat at the table so we made a date of it.  We opened a bottle of nice wine that we typically save for special occassions.  This concept means that we have 12 or so bottles that'll sit on the wine rack for years and years and we'll constantly pass on drinking them because they are too nice for regular occassions and we don't want to "waste" the wine.  Because, uh, refusing to ever touch it isn't wasting it at all. Logic fail #2.


This meal was delicious, and the best part is that there was steak on the grill involved, which means that my husband does most of the cooking and I get to drink wine while he does so.  It was even a nice bottle, and I we drank the whole thing.  You know, so it didn't go to waste.  And these potatoes kicked butt.  I could eat a whole bowl of them....I know this because I've seen me do it!  And mushrooms are super yummy when you put garlic butter on them. 


Enjoy!

Marinated Flank Steak
Source: Adapted from All Recipes

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/3 cup soy sauce

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1 1/2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

1 1/2 pounds flank steak

In a medium bowl, mix the oil, soy sauce, vinegar, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, mustard, garlic, and ground black pepper. Place meat in a shallow glass dish. Pour marinade over the steak, turning meat to coat thoroughly. Cover, and refrigerate for 6 hours.

Preheat grill for medium-high heat.

Oil the grill grate. Place steaks on the grill, and discard the marinade. Grill meat for 5 minutes per side, or to desired doneness.

Mustard Roasted Potatoes
Source: Adapted from Smitten Kitchen


Nonstick vegetable oil spray
1/2 cup whole grain Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons (1/4 stick or 1/2 ounce) butter, melted (I used about half of this amount and it was fine!)
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon dried oregano (I left this out)
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon peel
1 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
3 pounds 1- to 1 1/2-inch-diameter mixed unpeeled red-skinned and white-skinned potatoes, cut into 3/4-inch-wide wedges


Position 1 rack in top third of oven and 1 rack in bottom third of oven and preheat to 425°F. Spray 2 large rimmed baking sheets with nonstick spray. Whisk mustard, olive oil, butter, lemon juice, garlic, oregano, lemon peel, and salt in large bowl to blend. Add potatoes; sprinkle generously with freshly ground black pepper and toss to coat. Divide potatoes between prepared baking sheets, leaving any excess mustard mixture behind in bowl. Spread potatoes in single layer.


Roast potatoes 20 minutes. Reverse baking sheets and roast until potatoes are crusty outside and tender inside, turning occasionally, about 25 minutes longer.
Transfer potatoes to serving bowl.

Garlic Butter Roasted Mushrooms
Source: Adapted from Gourmet

1 pound mushrooms such as cremini or white, halved lengthwise if large
3 large garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces (I used 1 1/2 and it was fine!)
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup chopped flat-leaf parsley

Preheat oven to 450°F with rack in middle. Toss mushrooms with garlic, oil, 1/8 teaspoon salt and several grinds of pepper in a 1 1/2- to 2-qt shallow baking dish. Top with butter and roast, stirring occasionally, until mushrooms are tender and golden and bubbly garlic sauce forms below, 15 to 20 minutes. Stir in lemon juice and parsley. Serve immediately, with crusty bread on the side for swiping up the juices.

Lemon Chicken Scallopine and Some Musings on Delusion

After calling old Charlie a delusional wacko so many times, I started feeling a little like a hypocrite.  Not that I'm saying I'm a wacko (or at least not any more...I think there's an argument that ALL college girls are wackos, and I was no different 10 years ago), but I did start thinking about how I have a nice collection of my own delusions.  None as far-fetched as Mr. Adonis DNA's, let's be clear, but they are delusions all the same.  To name a few of my most frequently used:


1.) DELUSION: If you use whole wheat products in a recipe, said recipe is automatically healthy and cannot be, under any circumstance, laden with calories. 


FALSE!


FACT: Chicken breaded with (whole wheat) bread crumbs and sauteed fried in butter, served over (whole wheat) pasta is still pretty darn fattening.  But…it has fiber, which will help with….you know, so you can lose weight that way…..NO.  Still fattening.




2.)    DELUSION: If you attend spin class on any given day, you can eat whatever you want on said day, and you will magically continue to lose weight. 


FALSE. 


FACT: Spin class only burns like 600 calories, so if you go to class but otherwise eat like a linebacker, you’re probably going to start looking like a linebacker.




3.)    DELUSION: If something is on sale, it is automatically a good deal. 


FALSE. 


FACT: Sometimes stores put things on sale because nobody wants to buy them because they are hideous.  Its not a good deal if you never wear your cheap, ugly purchases. 


4.)    DELUSION:  I contribute to household chores in a percentage equal to my husband's and I do my share of the dishes. 


FALSE. 


FACT:  Honestly, I don't.  But here is my rationale for this.  My husband is quite particular regarding how things should be cleaned and how often tables should be dusted.  If I do it, chances are pretty good that he'll do go behind me and do it anyway, so why bother?  Plus, I cook every night and keep him entertained with my witty jokes and anecdotes.  That's about all the housework I can handle.




5.)    DELUSION: Wii sports resort is exercise and can be substituted for activities such as running 5 miles, completing a spin class, or doing a workout video. 


FALSE. 


FACT: This is especially false if you consume multiple cocktails during said Wii "workout".




6.)     DELUSION: Leggings are appropriate attire for almost any situation.  FAL.....  Actually, nope.  That is true.


Let's talk about #1 a little more, shall we?  I made Lemon Chicken Scallopine the other night and I served it over whole wheat pasta.  It was really good, and I've finally admitted to myself that it probably wasn't very healthy.  Oh well...I did go to spin class that day, but you know what they say about spin class and linebackers....


Anyway, it was awfully tasty!

Lemon Chicken Scallopine with a Pine Nut Parmesan Crust
Source: Adapted from Oprah Magazine

4 boneless skinless chicken breast halves
1 cup flour
2½ tsp salt, divided
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
3 large eggs, lightly beaten (I didn't have eggs so I used milk and it was fine)
1½ cups dry breadcrumbs or panko (I used half panko, and half whole wheat breadcrumbs)
2 medium lemons
½ cup grated Parmesan cheese
½ cup pine nuts, coarsely chopped
2 Tbs chopped fresh basil
2 Tbs butter (about)
2 Tbs extra- virgin olive oi l (about)

Using a meat mallet or rolling pin, pound chicken breasts between 2 pieces of waxed paper or plastic wrap until they are ¼-inch thick.

Combine flour, 1 tsp. salt, and pepper on a large plate. Put eggs on a separate plate. On a third plate, combine bread crumbs, zest from 1 lemon (about 2 tsp.), 1 tsp. salt, cheese, pine nuts, and basil. Sprinkle chicken with remaining ½ tsp. salt. Coat both sides in flour, then eggs (allowing excess to drip off), then bread crumb mixture, pressing mixture in slightly.

In a large skillet over a medium flame, heat 1 T. butter and 1 T. olive oil. When pan is hot, add 1 to 2 chicken breasts; cook 2 to 3 minutes on each side, until golden and cooked through. Remove and keep warm on a plate tented with foil. Add more butter and oil to skillet with each batch. Cut remaining unpeeled lemon into large wedges. Squeeze 2 wedges over chicken before serving and place remaining wedges on platter with chicken.

Winning.

"I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen Ann's cooking. It’s not available (unless you know her). If you try it once, you will die be hooked. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body your tastebuds will explode with joy." 


"That's Cooking anything besides Ann's gourmet deliciousness is for normal people.  People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA." 


"I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star cooking goddess from Mars and people can’t figure me out; they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me my rad cooking skills with a normal brain"


"I have a disease a problem with coming up with awesome blog posts?  BS.  I cured it with my brain." 


"I have a grandiose life.  Sorry my life is so much better than yours (just kidding, I'm sure your life rocks, too).  I planned it that way." 


"I'm gonna win inside every moment and they people who think they can't cook can find their most comfortable chair in their small lovely house and sit back and enjoy the show." 


"Wow - Winning!"


I know I shouldn't even waste space on my blog on Charlie Sheen because that kind of attention is exactly what he is seeking, but I can't help myself.  What a total whack job, huh?!  That guy is seriously delusional and I laughed so hard watching him on the Today Show that I may have watched a couple several more times on YouTube later that day.  And the day after. 


And then today?  With the "goddesses"?  Oh my.  I actually don't really have any words for that. 


I also really hope CBS doesn't let him come back to the show, for $3M an episode, or 5 dollars an episode.  Take a stand, CBS!  If you are reading this (which I am SURE you are), tell him to go take a hike and he'll just have to hope he finds a way to bottle his Adonis DNA and sell that to various losers and other people with regular, non-tiger blood.  Now THAT would be winning, don't we think?




Making lamb chops on a Monday night?  Duh - Winning!


I really love lamb and have to block out of my mind the fact that I'm eating a baby lamb, because baby lambs are really cute if you think about it and oh-my-gosh-now-I-really-do-feel-sad-and-might-want-one-for-a-pet-if-my-husband-will-let-me-it-can-live-in-the-shed-outside. 


Anywho, a few months ago, I went to a cooking class with my brother-in-law's girlfriend and mother-in-law and they were making a lamb roast (along with roasted root veggies, salad with truffle vinaigrette, and apple pie...now I'm drooling just thinking about it).  The lamb was so easy...he just rubbed garlic, rosemary, salt, and pepper on it, and put it in the oven for like 2 hours (I really wish the cooking class still had wine, especially when dinner takes 2 hours).  When I decided to make it myself, I didn't have 2 hours of cooking time, so I picked up some bone-in lamb chops instead.  Came out beautifully!  I served it with roasted brussels sprouts and baked potatoes.  Whoo!

Rosemary and Garlic Lamb Chops
Source: Adapted from Emeril, inspired by the former chef of Lemaire Restaurant, Richmond VA

3-4 bone-in lamb chops, 1" thick

¼ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 Tbsp. chopped fresh rosemary
1 Tbsp. kosher salt
2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

Preheat broiler to high.

Using your hands, rub lamb all over with lemon juice. Pat the garlic and rosemary evenly all over the surface of the meat. Season the meat with salt and pepper and place the lamb in a roasting pan.

Broil the lamb on high, 4-5 minutes on each side, or until meat thermometer inserted into center of the roast registers 145 to 150 degrees F.

Remove lamb from the oven and allow to rest for about 15 minutes before carving

Lazy Sunday - Shrimp and Mushroom Fettucine with Corn and Pancetta

For those of you who know me well, you are aware that I am very protective of my lazy Sundays.  I usually pray for rain so I don't feel guilty about not leaving the house and sometimes not even showering getting dressed and doing my hair and makeup.  People know that if they invite me to do something on a Sunday, the chances are slim that their event will be blessed with my presence unless its something REALLY fun, or if I had a lazy Saturday the day before.  I cherish my down time and love the feeling of having a whole day to do whatever I feel like doing, without having to answer to anyone.


Well, then I got married.  My husband doesn't have quite the same idea of a perfect Sunday.  I love him more than life, but man, does he sometimes cramp my lazy Sunday style.  Like today.  I had just settled into my cozy chair with my fuzzy gray blanket, a clementine, the remote, and my laptop.  I was all ready to chill out until it was time to grocery shop (I may or may not have worn PJ pants and a T-shirt to the grocery store today...I'll never tell) and cook dinner.  But then Andrew comes in, all dressed, and announces he's going to "do stuff around the house" in a tone that clearly says, "Maybe you should get off your lazy butt and clean something too Maybe you could help me so we could spend some quality time together".  The nerve!  Its hard to enjoy a lazy Sunday when you're riddled with guilt for not scrubbing a toilet or something.  I got over it, though, and had a lovely day of reading cookbooks, watching Say Yes to the Dress, and planning the week's menu.  Oh, and napping.  Its not a perfect Sunday unless a nap is involved.


I also think lazy Sunday-ism is contagious.  Because my husband?  I'm not sure he ever did anything around the house after all, and he spent most of the day next to me on the couch.  I think he's coming around.


I did manage to make it to the grocery store to buy ingredients for tonight's dinner.  I was really excited about this one, since its a pasta dish and pasta is my favorite food in the entire world (much to the dismay of my skinny jeans).  It was pretty good, but probably nothing that'll make it on the regular rotation list.  That might be because I think I added too much wine to the sauce and it ended up a little runny.  Not really my fault though...I was born with a heavy wine-pouring hand.  Such is life.  Maybe I'll try again with less wine in the sauce and more wine in my belly.

Shrimp and Mushroom Fettucine with Corn and Pancetta
Source: Closet Cooking

1 tablespoon butter
1 ounce pancetta (chopped)
1 cup wild mushrooms (sliced)
1/2 teaspoon fresh thyme
1 tablespoon butter
2 shallots (chopped)
2 cloves garlic
1/2 cup corn (fresh, frozen or canned)
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/2 pound shrimp (shelled and deveined)
2 tablespoons heavy cream
salt and pepper to taste
2 tablespoons dill (chopped)
2 servings fettuccine (cooked)

Melt the butter in a pan.  Add the pancetta, mushrooms and thyme and fry until the mushrooms are golden brown, about 10 minutes.  Set the pancetta and mushrooms aside.

Melt the butter in the pan.  Add the shallots and saute until golden brown, about 10 minutes.  Add the garlic and saute until fragrant, about 1 minute.  Add the corn and saute until warm, about 2 minutes.  Add the mushrooms and pancetta back to the pan.  Add the white wine and deglaze the pan.  Add the shrimp and cook for a few minutes on each side.  Add the cream, salt and pepper and mix.

Add the dill and remove from the heat.

Oh, and I also made this Walnut and Rosemary Oven Fried Chicken.  I have no story about that.  I made it, and then we ate it!  It was good!

Walnut and Rosemary Oven-Fried Chicken

Source: Cooking Light

1/4 cup low-fat buttermilk

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

4  (6-ounce) chicken cutlets

1/3 cup panko (Japanese breadcrumbs)

1/3 cup finely chopped walnuts

2 tablespoons grated fresh Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese

3/4 teaspoon minced fresh rosemary

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Cooking spray

Rosemary leaves (optional)

Preheat oven to 425°.

Combine buttermilk and mustard in a shallow dish, stirring with a whisk. Add chicken to buttermilk mixture, turning to coat.

Heat a small skillet over medium-high heat. Add panko to pan; cook 3 minutes or until golden, stirring frequently. Combine panko, nuts, and next 4 ingredients (through pepper) in a shallow dish. Remove chicken from buttermilk mixture; discard buttermilk mixture. Dredge chicken in panko mixture.

Arrange a wire rack on a large baking sheet; coat rack with cooking spray. Arrange chicken on rack; coat chicken with cooking spray. Bake at 425° for 13 minutes or until chicken is done. Garnish with rosemary leaves, if desired.

Ugly Chicken Pockets

Sometimes I plan meals in my head and picture how they are going to look when they're done and I get really, really excited about the prospect of making certain things because of how pretty I imagine they are going to be.  Usually I do this while trying to fall asleep at night, or during meetings.  My job requires a fair amount of meetings, and most of them don't even involve me so I have trouble focusing on the task at hand.  I also have the attention span of a fire ant, so that could be a factor, too.


Anywho, I was really excited about making this chicken dish because I was under the impression that the chicken pockets I made would be perfectly symmetrical, and the epitome of beautiful, golden, buttery, flaky deliciousness.  It didn't really turn out like that, mostly due to the fact that I bought the wrong kind of croissant rolls and wrapping anything in those buggers was like trying to diaper a mouse with saran wrap.


I did manage to pull it together enough to get them in the oven, and they were awfully yummy, even if they had faces only a mother would love.  I paired them with brown rice with pistachios and goat cheese and some roasted broccoli. 

Croissant Chicken

Source: Recipe Girl

 
3 ounces cream cheese (I used low fat)
3 Tbsp melted butter, divided
2 cups cooked chicken breasts or thighs, cubed
salt & pepper
2 Tbsp milk
1 Tbsp finely chopped onion
1 (8 ounce) can croissant dinner rolls
2 tablespoons chopped thyme
garlic powder
¾ cup seasoned breadcrumbs

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Blend cream cheese and 1 Tbsp. butter until smooth. Mix in chicken, salt, pepper, milk, thyme, garlic powder and onions.

Separate dough into 4 rectangles- press perforations to eliminate seams. Spoon ½ cup of the chicken mixture onto the center of each rectangle. Pull 4 corners of dough to the top. Twist and seal to form a round ball.

Brush butter over each ball and roll in crumbs. Bake on ungreased cookie sheet 20-25 minutes.

Almond-Crusted Pork and a Chinese Rub-Down

I got a massage on Sunday.  My in-laws got me a gift certificate to Red Door for my birthday and I was PSYCHED!  Red Door is the best massage in the history of the world and honestly is the only place that doesn't inflict serious pain on me.  Aside from my few experiences with Red Door blissfulness, I've had some pretty scarring massage experiences as well, the most recent of which occurred in Hong Kong.


Last year, I had the privilege of spending 10 days in Hong Kong on a business trip.  There are a lot of things about my old profession that I don't miss at all (the long hours, the stress, the occasional weekly nervous breakdown), but the one thing that I do miss is the travel.  Working in corporate retail gave me the chance to see parts of the world that I would never get to experience otherwise, specifically Germany, Japan, and China.  I'll tell ya - its pretty special to travel halfway across the world on the company dime!  Anywho, when I was in Hong Kong, we stayed in a fairly westernized hotel that had a fancy schmancy spa that boasted amazing massage services.  And let me tell you - after 7 long days traveling to factories and negotiating over pennies off the cost of a audio cable, I was ready for a nice relaxing spa experience.  One of the local Hong Kong business partners we were working with heard me talking about wanting a massage and she insisted that the hotel spa was overpriced and that I could get a great massage at the place she goes for half the price.  I was skeptical, but both my curiosity and my love of a good deal go the best of me.  So off we went! 


Now, if you've ever gotten a massage, you know three things for sure.  One is that you get your massage in a private room, free of other customers and random spa workers.  The second is that, because you are not really wearing any clothes, there is a sheet/blanket on the massage table so you can cover up your....bits.  The third is that the massage therapist will perform said massage while standing on the floor, not standing on your back.  This place?  Not so much on any count.  Getting a massage in the same room as another customer with only a curtain separating you is a bit awkward.  Know what else is awkward?  The fact that instead of an actual sheet or blanket to maintain some modesty, this place gives you a tiny square of fabric approximately the size of a washcloth.  I do understand that I'm bigger than the average woman in Hong Kong, but really?  That's not even going to cover...anything!  Eek!  Even more awkward?  The fact that this little tiny woman is actually walking across my back instead of, like, massaging it.  And it kind of hurt.  What also hurt was when she dug her fingers in between my muscles.  That hurt too.  Oh, and my pride.  My pride hurt when I realized that the tiny little washcloth wasn't going to cover much and this poor little lady got quite the view.


Anyway, I'll be sticking with Red Door from now on, thanks.


And honestly, that story has absolutely nothing to do with food or cooking besides the fact that my Red Door massage happened on the same day that I cooked something.  And that something was almond crusted pork and roasted brussels sprouts.  It was yummy.


The brussels sprouts recipe is courtesy of my friend Whitney.  She cooks some pretty delicious stuff, too, and if she's nice maybe I'll let her be a guest blogger one day.  But in the meantime, you just cut the sprouts in half, sprinkle some salt on them, and put them in a pan with pecans (I  used pine nuts because I didn't have pecans).  Roast at 400 degrees until they get brown and then toss it all together with melted butter.  Can't beat that!



Almond-Crusted Pork with Honey-Mustard Dipping Sauce

Source: Adapted from Eating Well

For the pork
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
1/2 cup sliced almonds
1 teaspoon granulated garlic
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1 large egg white, beaten
1 pound trimmed pork tenderloin, sliced diagonally into 1/2" thick slices (I just kept it whole)

For the dipping sauce
1/4 cup honey
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

In a food processor, add panko, almonds, garlic powder, salt and pepper - pulse until almonds are coarsely chopped. Place mixture into a shallow dish.

In another shallow dish, add beaten egg white.

Dip pork into the egg white, then evenly coat with the almond mixture. Place the pork onto a wire rack coated with olive oil spray and set on a baking sheet. Set filled baking sheet into the refrigerator and let rest for 15 minutes. Remove from the refrigerator and coat both sides of pork with olive oil spray. Place into the oven and bake until the pork is golden and has a slight pink hue to the center, about 12 to 16 minutes (this was more like 30 minutes since I kept my tenderloin whole)

Meanwhile, in a small bowl, whisk together honey, soy sauce, and mustard. Serve pork with the dipping sauce.

Buffalo Blue Cheese Meatloaf and the Case of the Missing Tastebuds

I love spicy food and will devour anything of a buffalo variety.  I've been known to lick buffalo sauce off an empty wing plate from time to time if I think no one is looking.  My husband finds this behavior charming.


Speaking of my husband, he SAYS he likes spicy food, too, but he tends to be a little picky about how hot something actually is.  He doesn't share my "if 2 tablespoons of cayenne is good, 4 tablespoons are better" philosophy and will sometimes complain that what I've made is too spicy.  What a total pansy!  Anyway, a couple of years ago, I made my famous (well, famous according to me) chili, which he usually loves.  I never measure anything when I make chili, I just kind of wing it and add stuff according to taste or whatever I feel like on that particular day.  And since you can't SUBTRACT spiciness from a pot of chili, there have admittedly been a time or two where I went a little overboard and many, many dollops of sour cream are necessary to make it edible.  This was one of those times.  The man SWEARS UP AND DOWN that after eating this particular batch of chili, all of his tastebuds actually BURNED OFF and he couldn't taste food for a month.  Like that's even possible!  And he says that I exaggerate!  Like I said, what a total pansy.


For this buffalo blue cheese meatloaf recipe, I doubled the amount of wing sauce I put in there, and it was borderline too spicy.  Oh well.  He now knows not to complain about anything being too hot ever again, because he knows if he does, I'll mock him publicly and call him a pansy.  Oops....too late for that, I guess!


I served these meatballs in mini meatloaf form and paired them with blue cheese mashed potatoes.  Easy: half a bag of new potatoes, boil until tender, and then smash with skim milk, low fat blue cheese dressing, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  Delish!

Buffalo Blue Cheese MeatballsSource: Adapted from Lemons and Love

1 lb ground beef
1/3 cup blue cheese crumbles
1/4 cup breadcrumbs
1 large egg
2 tablespoons wing sauce (I used 4)
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon ground mustard
1 tablespoon steak grill seasoning mix
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (I subbed garlic powder in place of cayenne)
salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Combine all the above ingredients and form into meatballs (I made them into mini meatloaves).  Bake for 25 minutes or until done (since I did meatloaves, I baked for 35-40 minutes)

Serve with a dipping sauce of 1 part wing sauce to 3 parts ranch dressing (you must do this)

Carne Asada Tacos and a Guacamole Smackdown

Before I learned that I have mad cooking skills don't suck as badly at cooking as I orginally thought, the only thing I could make was guacamole.  Literally....under no circumstance could I cook anything else that even resembled something edible.  It was also pretty much the only thing I could contribute to any social situation involving food.  Cinco de Mayo party?  I'm your woman!  Thanksgiving?  A little awkward, but its either guacamole or cranberry sauce in the can with those weird stripes.  Because of this, I've perfected my guacamole recipe and I'm convinced there's no one who can make it better.


To illustrate this point:


Last Fall, Andrew and I went to Oregon to drive down the coast, visit wine country, and stay with our friends in Portland.  One night they invited a bunch of their neighbors over to play Bunko (So fun!  I loved it until the game was over and 2 8-year olds ended up winning all the money) and everyone was required to make something to share.  I decided on, surprise, guacamole and mentioned loudly to our host and my good friend, Kara, that I kicked butt at making guacamole.  She's all, "Really?  It might be good, but there's no way its as good as mine.  Mine is the best ever".  So the guacamole showdown begins.  We decide to have a blind taste test when all the guests arrive...they simply taste each guacamole and write which one they like best on a piece of paper (they don't know which guacamole belongs to which fine lady), fold it up, and put it in a hat.  Then the winner will be announced at the end of the night.  Easy enough!  We prepare the guac, talking smack to each other regarding how the other is going to lose a public and embarassing battle. 


The results?  My friend Kara is going to be really mad at me for publishing this on the internet.  Actually, I'm not really even sure she reads this blog or has ever even visited it....SO, this is a good way to find out, don't we think?  I think I'll put the results in bold in case she is reading.  I WON IN AN EPIC SHUTOUT.  Yep, that's right...every single vote was for MY guacamole, and I swept my dear friend in the first (and probably last) guacamole showdown.  Her own husband didn't even vote for her, and of course he KNEW which one was hers because they looked very different and therefore he could easily recognize the work of his lovely wife.  Its sad but true.  I.  Am.  Awesome.


I'm not, however, awesome at Bunko.  As it turns out, as referenced above, 2 third graders took all of our money and the adults were left with full bellies and a heck of a buzz.


I usually post sources for the recipes that I post, but who really invented guacamole anyway?  They pretty much all use the same ingredients, and I think the quality of the finished product depends on the mix of the ingredients, not the actual ingredients themselves.  I will give credit to Rachael Ray, though, since she introduced me to the garlic paste concept, which is what I think makes my guacamole extra delicious.  I also never measure anything, so I'll just guess.

Ann's Guacamole Smackdown Guacamole


4 ripe Haas Avocados (these are clearly the key...they have to be good, and they have to be perfectly ripe)
4 cloves garlic, pasted (just mince really fine, sprinkle kosher salt on it, and then "smash" it into a paste with the back of a chef's knife)
1/2 a white onion, finely chopped
2 fresh jalapenos, finely chopped
2 tablespoons of Jack's Special chunky salsa (medium heat)....can be found at Kroger with the cheeses near the deli
big handful cilantro, chopped
kosher salt to taste
fresh ground black pepper
bit of garlic powder


Mix everything together, but LEAVE IT CHUNKY.  Why waste a perfectly perfect avocado by mashing it to pieces?


Eat until you feel sick.






Last night, I served the guacamole on carne asada tacos.  I totally cheated and used Trader Joe's carne asada meat and put in on flour tortillas.  That's pretty much it.  Except that I also used taco rice from a box on the side.  I know the Cooking Gods are ashamed of me.

Cheesy Chicken Mushroom Lasagna and a Bachelor Funny

I shamefully admit that I skipped spin class on Monday evening so I could make this ridiculously fattening dinner.  It took like an hour and a half and something told me that we'd want to eat dinner before 10 PM, so spinning had to go.  I'm SURE the 30 minute walk around the neighborhood is almost the same thing as an hour long spin class, though.


This lasagna was awfully tasty and worth the wait.  I always know when my husband really likes something because he'll take a bite, nod enthusiastically, and continually point to the food with his fork over and over, during the course of the entire meal.  I don't know why he wouldn't just say, "this is delicious, honey!", but I guess I'll have to settle for fork-pointing to decipher if a recipe is good or not. 


I followed the recipe almost exactly, which is unusual for me, but I'm leery of lasagna because I've always considered it to be pretty hard to make.  Its actually not.  I don't know why I thought stacking a bunch of things together and then putting it in the oven while it cooks itself would be complicated.  Thankfully, its not!  I just subbed a mixture of swiss and monteray jack for the Gruyere.  That stuff is expensive, and I hate grating cheese because I'm always convinced I'm going to shave the skin off my knuckles and dinner will be bloody.




Anywho, we ate dinner while watching The Bachelor.  Its a guilty pleasure and I am embarassed to admit how excited I get for Monday nights when it comes on.  I get entirely too into the show and yell at the television at least a few times every week.  I find it hilarious that these women are like, "OMG, I went on a date with the Bachelor this week and made out with him shamelessly on camera and then the next day he went on a date with someone else and he made out with HER on camera too!  He's my boyfriend and I don't like sharing him with other women!  He's mine - I can't believe he's spending all this time with other people!"  Um, hello?  Honey?  Have you ever seen this show before?  The WHOLE PREMISE is that you have to share your "boyfriend" with other women and watch him woo them in front of you.  That's why we WATCH it because that's why its funny!  They are like, "I feel insecure when I don't get enough attention from the Bachelor".  Don't these people know that their insecurity and their needy tendencies are what made the producers pick them for the show in the first place?  Having a bunch of mature, level-headed, well-adjusted women on this show would just be silly!  Who would watch THAT?  Not me, that's for sure.

Cheesy Chicken and Mushroom Lasagna

Source: Epicurious

1 (10-ounce) package cremini or white mushrooms, thinly sliced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon olive oil
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided
1/2 cup dry white wine
2 1/4 cups cooked, shredded chicken
3 1/2 cups whole milk
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons thyme leaves
3/4 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
12 no-boil egg lasagne noodles
1 1/2 cups coarsely grated Gruyère (3 ounces)

Preheat oven to 425° with rack in middle.

Cook mushrooms, garlic, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/8 teaspoon pepper in oil and 1 tablespoon butter in a 4-quart heavy saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until mushrooms are softened, about 3 minutes. Add wine and simmer briskly 2 minutes. Transfer mushroom mixture to a large bowl and stir in chicken.

Bring milk to a bare simmer in a medium saucepan. Melt remaining 4 tablespoons butter in 4-quart saucepan over medium-low heat. Add flour and cook roux, whisking constantly, 3 minutes. Add hot milk in a slow stream, whisking constantly. Add thyme, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and simmer, whisking occasionally, until thickened, 5 to 6 minutes. Remove from heat and reserve 1 cup sauce. Stir parmesan into sauce remaining in pan, then stir into mushroom filling.

Pour half of reserved plain sauce into baking pan, spreading evenly to coat bottom. Add 3 lasagne sheets, overlapping slightly, and one third of mushroom filling, spreading evenly, then sprinkle one fourth of Gruyère over top. Repeat 2 times. Top with remaining 3 lasagne sheets and remaining plain sauce, spreading evenly. Sprinkle with remaining Gruyère.

Cover with foil, tenting slightly to prevent foil from touching top of lasagne but sealing all around edge, and bake 30 minutes. Remove foil and bake until cheese is golden, about 15 minutes more. Let lasagne stand 10 minutes before serving.

Golfing Fail and Some Highly Anticipated Honey Truffled Frites

As outlined in the rules from my last post, we went out to dinner both nights this weekend and I didn't go anywhere near the kitchen.  Last night we went out to celebrate my 31st birthday with some friends.  True to form, we terrorized the tiny restaurant with our stories that seemed to get louder and more colorful as the night went on, and I don't think anyone was sad to see us go.  We had delicious food and wine and a night out with these folks always guarantees a good time and usually provides a pretty good chance of a morning headache.


Anywho, today is Sunday and we're FINALLY getting a glimpse of Spring (even though I know its a total tease and it'll probably snow next week).  The plan for the day was to go hit golf balls, get some lunch at a local cafe, and then make mushroom chicken lasagna for dinner.  Didn't really go as planned!


First, I am no golfer.  My husband plays at least a couple of times a month in the Spring and Summer with his brother and his girlfriend.  While they are golfing, I usually do really productive things like shop, take naps, or watch embarassingly bad reality television.  This year, I've decided that I need to do something more productive with my Saturdays and try to burn more calories than you would, say, driving to the mall, so I decided that I was going to learn to play golf.  Let it be known that I have the natural athletic abilities about on par with a giraffe who is also blind, deaf, and dumb.  I played basketball in high school and was actually pretty good, but that's only because I worked really, really hard at it.  A born sportswoman I am not.  But I was seriously convinced that I was going to be super awesome at golf.  I can't fathom what on earth is so hard about hitting a ball that's sitting still on the ground.  You're not even blindfolded or anything!  What can be so hard about that?  Both my husband and my dad were wary of my abunance of confidence about this, and they were like, "golf is actually pretty hard, Ann....you're probably not going to be very good at first".  Um, excuse me?  How can I not be good?  I am going to RULE the driving range!


Guess what!?!  Golfing is ridiculously hard and I really, really, really, really suck at it.  I think I got 50 balls and probably completely whiffed 30% of the time, hit the ground before the ball 40% of the time, hit the ball so that it only skitted across the grass 25% of time, and managed it actually get it airborne only about 5% of the time. 


I envisioned my first golfing experience like this:



And it ended up being more like this:



I'm going to keep trying, though, because I still believe in my heart of hearts that I am destined to be awesome at golf.

Afterwards, we went to a downtown cafe for lunch.  It was probably in my top 5 of worst restaurant experiences ever.  Our waiter had a bit of a personal hygine issue and we waited over an hour for our food while the tables around us came, sat, ate, paid, and left.  Not even a peep of an awknowledgement from him about our ridiculously long wait for grilled shrimp and honey truffle frites.  Not an "I'm sorry", no free food, nada.  I was a very unhappy camper but did manage to scarf down my honey truffle frites so fast that I completely ruined my appetite for dinner.

So, no chicken mushroom lasagna tonight...that'll get bumped to tomorrow.  I thought about taking a picture of what we DID have for dinner, which was Trader Joe's chicken burgers that I've had in the freezer for AT LEAST a year, but I thought that would just be weird.  So, no food pictures tonight...you'll have to wait until tomorrow.  Until then, I'm off to dream of golfing championships and truffle frites!