Judgey McJudgerson Makes Crab Cakes

The other day I was doing my weekly grocery shopping and at one point I looked down into my grocery cart and thought to myself, "Daaaaang girl, that is one healthy-looking grocery cart you got there....you rock!".  It was filled with colorful fruits and veggies and lean meats and there was not a single sign of a processed food to be found.  It was like a rainbow of food-snobby deliciousness.  And wine-snobby deliciousness, too (if we're going to be really honest here).  There MAY have been 6 bottles of wine in there as well, and the checkout girl MAY have mentioned that I'm probably having a party or something because, "I sure hope you're not drinking all of that by yourself!"  Heh, heh....of course not!  And she was 16...what does she know about wine anyway?  But, I digress.  The wine was in there because if you buy 6 bottles, you get 10% off.  And also, have you been living under a rock along with the checkout girl?  Red wine is good for you!

Anyway, so I started checking out other people's carts to see if they were as awesome as mine were.  Um, they weren't.  Unless by "awesome", you mean, "consists only of Lucky Charms and Lil' Smokies sausages"  In as much of a non-judgemental way as I could muster, I wondered what on earth these people were thinking.  Some of these carts were filled with really atrocious things, and they probably weren't even cheap!    Now, as you can probably tell from my blog here, I'm not always the epitome of healthy eating and I certainly have been known to eat a frozen pierogie or two (mmmm.....pierogies....), but I like to think that I have a good grasp on general nutrition and was appalled at the stuff people would bring home to their families.  And yes...there it is....judgement.

And you know what's funny?  I should totally be judging myself half the time, too, especially when I'm in a restaurant.  I keep processed foods and snacks out of my house and everything we eat has to be prepared from actual ingredients, but put me in a Chick-fil-A, and I'll gobble up those waffle fries faster than you can say "muffin top".

Oh well.  I guess I'll try to keep my grocery shopping gloating in check and try not to worry about what other people are buying at the store.  I'll do it in exchange for your promise to look the other way in case you ever see me in Chick-Fil-A.


Okay, back to cooking talk.  My mother in law Mona makes the best crab cakes in the world.  Actually, she's one of the best cooks in the world for just about anything, and when I married her son, I was terrified at the thought of cooking for him because there was no way I was going to be able to produce anything even remotely as good as what he ate growing up.  But the cool thing about Mona is that she's a lot nicer than I am.  You read about the time I beat my friend Kara in a cook-off and then rubbed her face in it and then blogged about it for all the world to see.  Instead of doing THAT, Mona graciously offered to share her best recipes with me so I could make them myself!  And she's never publicly mocked my cooking!  Like I said, she's a lot nicer than I am.

Anyway, the key to these crab cakes is (unfortunately), the quality of crab meat you use.  You really should use jumbo lump.  I mean, I know its expensive, but crab cakes are a special occasion, and its still cheaper than going out.  And they're just not as good with claw meat.  Sorry.

I am drooling just thinking about them...

Crab Cakes
Source: My Mother-in-Law!

1 pound fresh LUMP crabmeat
16-20 saltine crackers, crushed
1/2 cup mayonnaise (I used light and it was still delicious)
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard 
1/2 - 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 Tablespoon minced fresh parsley
1/2 teaspoon hot sauce

Drain crabmeat, removing any bits of shell.

Stir together mayo & rest of ingredients.

Fold in crabmeat & saltines.  Be careful not to break up lumps.

Shape into about 8 patties.  Place the patties on wax paper-lined baking sheet; cover & chill about 1 hour.
This seems to make them hold together better while frying. 

Brown in 2 Tablespoons vegetable oil & 2 Tablespoons butter 4-5 minutes per side.

Drain on paper towels.


Lemon-Dill Sauce

1 cup mayonnaise
2 tsp. grated lemon rind
1 Tbs. lemon juice
3/4 tsp dried dillweed
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. hot sauce (optional)

Stir together.  Chill